Blankets

A few weeks before Nathaniel's anniversary, my head and heart were overwhelmed with thoughts of Nathaniel, the anniversary of his birth and death and the memories of our short journey with him. My everyday thoughts felt clouded. It was difficult for me to concentrate and my mind was restless. Some of my thoughts at the fore front were how we were going to honor Nathaniel's memory on July 8th. How do we somehow show Nathaniel the love we have for him in one day. An ordinary day for the rest of the world. A work day for Mel. A day that I still need to get three meals on the table, do laundry, take care of the kids, try not to lose my patience and yell, mourn the loss of my third child and still celebrate his short life.
An idea came to me. I would make blankets. It would keep me "busy" and my thoughts occupied on something positive in the weeks before Nathaniel's anniversary. I called Annette Klein, our prenatal hospice coordinator at United Hospital and shared my idea with her. I asked her if there was a need for blankets. Something like what we received when Nathaniel was born, a preemie size, soft minky fleece. She suggested small, preemie size blankets for the NICU babies. She told me that what I was doing was an incredible gift for the moms and dads who would most likely take their babies home to parent. Something I never got to do. I knew in my heart that although it was a small gesture, it was what I wanted to do for my baby who was only wrapped in his small blanket for a few hours.
Here are the finished blankets. The minky fleece was a little hard to work with for this novice sewer, but I'm happy with how they turned out.

I didn't get them all finished by July 8th which was my plan, but it was fine. I actually worked on a few of them on Nathaniel's day. The day turned out to be pretty good. I had a good day with the kids. We made a stepping stone for Nathaniel. I baked blueberry muffins with some of the berries from the orchard. I made homemade pizzas for dinner. We lit a candle for Nathaniel (something we'll do every year) and then the boys and I went to Toy Story 3. Mel was at class all day and then had to study, but we were able to connect in the evening and talk. It was a good day.