This week has been an odd week. Saturday and Sunday I was very down. I didn't feel like doing much. Nothing really happened to trigger it. I just didn't have any ambition. Monday through today have been much better. My attitude has changed and while I still have my moments of feeling sad, it hasn't been as bad as the previous weekend.
The last two nights I had dreams about Nathaniel. The first one was of him being born and he immediately took a breath and cried. As each minute passed, he continued to breathe stronger and stronger. The doctors finally told us he would be okay. The second dream was again Nathaniel being born and the same thing, he started crying and breathing on his own. This time the doctors said "We were wrong. He has Achondroplasia. He's going to be fine."
I woke up this morning thinking, Could this happen? What are the chances the doctors are wrong?
This afternoon I received the news that our insurance will cover all our genetic testing. Thank the Lord. I'm very happy about this, but nervous too.
I was brought back to reality when I started reading everything the genetic counselor emailed to me. They'll be testing for Achondrogenesis and Thanatophoric Dysplasia. I already knew this before, but I'd let my mind tell me there was still hope. Still a chance they might be wrong. Still a chance they would also test for a less severe condition, something that would allow us to raise Nathaniel despite any challenges he might face. I want so badly for my dreams to be reality.
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4 comments:
I'm with you. I want your dreams to be a reality, too. He's not born yet... there is still hope. I keep praying!
No matter what the outcome, how beatiful that you could experience his wonderful birth in your dreams.
You have every right to be down and depressed. But I'm glad you're feeling better. Can't wait to get together again this weekend.
Are they doing this testing prior to his birth-or after? I wish I could give you the answers, but in my case and Cat's case they were wrong and now we have PReston and Owen. I really hope they are wrong. Have they actually plotted his chest into measurement charts? I finally pushed for them to do that and that was when my high risk OB and the nurses and ultrasound gurus were like-we think the neonatologist was wrong! They don't know, but I really hope that Nathaniel comes out strong and healthy!
Baby Nathaniel is in my prayers and I believe God is giving you the gift of HOPE through your dreams. I WILL KEEP THE HOPE for your dreams to be a reality!
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