Undefeated record

Flag football has come to an end, but it was a great season with great coaches that were dedicated to teaching these boys football, playing hard and having fun too. The Jets were undefeated!

Jake is #82

The big man is 9!

And I do mean big. He's growing like a weed and is now up to 5 feet 1 inch tall. His feet are growing just as fast. He's blown though three pairs of shoes since the beginning of the school year. He's wearing size 8's now... men's.


Jake, you make us very proud and happy as parents. It's fun to see you grow up and excel at the things you enjoy. We're so proud of your hard work at school. Keep putting forth a strong effort at everything that is important to you.
We love you!

Halloween

Long gone are the days of my boys dressing up like super heroes or movie characters. This year the boys wanted "scary" costumes, including Mel.


I didn't dress up. How could I compete with those costumes? Mel thought it was pretty funny to scare the older trick-or-treaters. I had to keep reminding him not to scare the little ones. We ran into one little girl a couple times throughout the neighborhood and every time she saw Mel she said, "It's just a man in a scary mask. It's just a man in a scary mask."

Camping

Jake's cub scout pack had family camp in October. We had the choice of going one of three weekends offered. I was really dragging my feet to decide which weekend, if any we would go. Not that I didn't want to camp, but rather it was only one night so the the thought of packing all our gear for ONE night seemed a little ridiculous. Okay and yes I was a little worried about poisonous creepy crawlies and snakes. Jake wasn't thrilled with the whole camping in snake country (wonder why), but he was excited to do the archery and BB shooting that was offered at the camp. We picked a weekend and started talking it up to both the boys. Kyle was beyond excited. He told us he was going to make a shelter in the woods to sleep in. He helped me get the tent out and set up to make sure it was clean. He searched for every possible flashlight in our house, checked to make sure they worked, packed his backpack with enthusiasm and counted down the days until our big (one night) camping trip. This was actually Kyle's first ever camping trip so he had every right to be excited.

As we were getting our gear packed the night before we left, Kyle asked Dad, "Are you bringing your gun in case we see any wild pigs?" Mel said, "No Kyle. I'm not worried about wild pigs." Kyle replied quite shocked, "You mean you don't care if a wild pig just eats your whole family?!"

We ended up having a good time and a good experience- no snakes, no spiders, no wild pigs, but we did have an armadillo run through our camp while we were sitting around the fire.

Saturday morning football game

We had a great morning today watching Jake's flag football team win 14-13. Jake scored the two touchdowns for his team and one of the extra points. He loves to play football and it shows in his attitude and determination on the field. This was also the first game Mel got to see of him playing so it was fun to watch it together.
We're proud of you Jake. It's fun to see you play something you love!

too young for a girlfriend

Yesterday, Jake told me a girl in his class asked him if he wanted to be her boyfriend. He told me he didn't know what to say to her. I asked him if he wanted to be her boyfriend and he quickly said, "no". We had a little discussion about how girls sometimes become interested in boys earlier than boys become interested in girls and that it's okay. I told him to tell her that he really likes being her friend, but that he doesn't want a girlfriend. I explained that he wouldn't hurt her feelings if he was honest with her. He said, "ok" and ran out the door to play outside. That's all he needed, reassurance that it was okay to say no. He clearly isn't thinking about girls in a girlfriend/boyfriend way yet(thank goodness) but when he does I hope he remembers to be honest about his feelings.
A woman I met who has middle school boys told me she tells her boys to focus on being a good friend to girls and not to worry about having a girlfriend. Rather to have fun with friends and work hard in school because there will be plenty of time for girlfriends and all the heartache and drama that comes with it later. I hope I can pass on some of that wisdom to my boys.

Berry picking

We went to Solebury Orchard on a beautiful hot, sunny day. The drive there was incredible- green, hilly countryside, cute colonial houses and farm houses and quaint towns and boroughs.

Jacob got hot (and crabby) after picking blueberries so we laid on the grass in the shade of a big tree and waited for everyone else to finish picking. I thought it was relaxing. Jake complained. So we headed over to the raspberry bushes and scoured the branches for any remaining berries that were left. They were very picked over, but we were determined.

Sophia

forgetfullness

This morning I drive down my street and see Jake's bike and helmet in the neighbor's yard. I just shake my head. No surprise. I pull over, get the bike and bring it home. I secretly think of hiding it and to see how long it takes Jake to realize it isn't in the garage.
On numerous occasions we find his skateboard in the front yard or on our front doorstep in the morning when a friend returns it from wherever Jake left it the night before.
After noticing a sweatshirt of Jake's was missing, I repeatedly reminded him to check the lost and found at school and look for it. He kept "forgetting" to check the lost and found so I take it upon myself to do it. I find the missing sweatshirt and two other sweatshirts of his!
His Nintendo DS has been missing for over a month. We've searched every inch of the house and haven't found it yet so I'm afraid this is one thing that's missing for good. How do I get him to stop forgetting and start remembering?!

Bitten by something

On Tuesday, Jake came to me complaining that his elbow hurt. I didn't think much of it. I took a quick look but it wasn't swollen and he could bend his arm so I tell him to take it easy and rest it. Wednesday morning I notice his elbow is swollen but he says it doesn't hurt anymore. It looks like he has 1 or 2 mosquito bites so if figure it's from that. Kyle gets big welts and swelling from mosquito bites so I figure that's what it is. I give him Benedryl and decide to watch it. Wednesday afternoon
By the afternoon his elbow looks much more swollen, red and hot to the touch so I decide to take him in to the doctor.
Jacob is a real trooper with doctor visits. He always does what he's suppose to and he's usually not nervous or scared. However the doctor we saw yesterday had terrible bedside manner and when he examines Jacob's arm he starts saying things like, "when the insect bites... poison enters the skin... severe edema...damaging the tissue... you have to move quickly to treat it..."
Jacob looks at me to see my reaction. I must have looked worried because then Jacob says, "I need water. My throat is so dry. It's hard to breathe." I ask him if he's nervous and he says yes. I tell him he's okay and that that he's getting medicine to make it all better and he seems to calm down. Wednesday night

Later in the evening at home I tell him that sometimes when we get really nervous or scared, our bodies react similar to what happened to him at the doctor's office. He tells me he got really scared when he heard the doctor say poison and prayed over and over to God, "Please don't let me die, please don't let me die."
It broke my heart to hear that. I had no idea he was that scared. Bless his heart.

Thankfully this morning his arm looks a little less swollen. Hopefully he's on the mend.

**Updated 4/10**

From what I understand, the bite itself is not what the antibiotics are treating. Apparently the infections is a staph infection caused by staph bacteria entering the skin at the point of the bug bite. Staph naturally occurs on our skin but it doesn't cause any problems unless it finds a way into our bodies.

Staph can spread quickly which is why the doctor wanted to act quickly with the antibiotics and Motrin.

Jake's arm looks almost back to normal and he has seven more days of antibiotics to finish to make sure the infection is completely gone.

Language barrier... of sorts

We're still adjusting to the words and phrases people use in the south in addition to the accent. I completely embarrassed myself the other day at Starbucks when I ordered a "steamer, not to hot" for Kyle. As the barista is making it he asks, "do you want a keezs wahon?" (That's what it sounded like anyway.) I had to ask him to repeat himself three times before I realized he was saying with a thick southern accent, "a kid's one" referring to the temperature of the steamer. I apologized profusely for not understanding what he said. I'm sure he thought I was an idiot.
I'm not the only one struggling with understanding people. Jacob came in the house one day and asked me what a lave was. "A lave? Do you mean lathe?" I asked. "No,a lave", he said. "Michael's mom said he couldn't come out to play because they were fixing a lave". After pondering that one for a moment I turned to Jacob and said with a thick southern drawl, "Michael can't come out to play 'cause we're fixin' to leave." I'm sure Jacob wouldn't have been confused if she had said, we're getting ready to leave.
Fixin'
Not a word we use. But maybe we will if we stay here in the south long enough. Out of everyone in the family, Jacob has picked up an accent the most- especially words with a long O sound- phone, stone, cone. It's really funny to hear. He doesn't realize he's doing it, unless he sees us trying to hide our quiet snickers.

Mel's picked up a little accent too. Although his comes and goes depending on who he's talking to. If it's someone from the south, the accent is full on. (Melinda can attest to this. It's quite hilarious.) He says he's a chameleon blending in with his surroundings.
I met someone from the Midwest who's lived here for three years and I would've never guessed she was from somewhere else. She spoke like she had lived here all her life. Maybe that will be us. Right now I'm trying my best to not let my one syllable words drag in to two... or three.

My kid's in camo

Who are these people and what have they done with my city slicker husband and son?


Although I didn't think sending my eight year old son in the woods "hunting" was a good idea- his first experience yesterday was great! Okay, first of all let me clarify that he did not carry a firearm (nor will he ever in the near or distant future) and he stayed right by Mel's side the entire time.

That said, I still had serious reservations about Jacob going out in the woods.
What if he gets lost?
What if there are other hunters in the woods?
What if he gets bit by a snake?
What if it gets dark and they can't find their way out?
What if Mel actually shoots an animal and Jacob gets freaked out or emotional?
What if, what if, what if...

In the end I knew Jacob was in good hands. After all, Mel is an infantryman and I'm thankful and blessed to have such a great husband that wants to share with his boys all there is to discover and learn in the woods. So I guess I need to put my mommy fears aside and let boys be boys.

Happy 8th Birthday Jake!

Jacob- You're growing up so fast. I can't believe you're 8 today. I'm so proud of the person you are. You're funny, smart, respectful, and a good brother, friend and son. I'm proud of how you're handling our move and the strong effort you're putting into meeting new friends and working hard at school. I love seeing you give your all with your schoolwork. You make Mom and Dad very proud. Happy Birthday! We love you!

This kid can climb...

... and loves it! With the weather getting cooler and not doing sports this fall, we've been trying to find other outlets for excess energy. We met some friends at the health club to do some climbing and Jacob took to it right away.

He's also been running with both Mel and me and really he enjoys it. I'm hoping he and I can run a 5K together. We're working on slowing down his pace so he can build endurance. Otherwise he peters out quickly. He ran over two miles with Mel the other day without stopping. When he got home he fell into my arms and cried. I think partly out of relief for making it home and partly out of sheer exaustion. We're very proud of his determination and accomplishments.

My lucky apron

I've been attempting sewing. My first two projects were pillowcases for the boys. They turned out great. You can't really go wrong sewing three straight edges. For my next project I made an apron. Mel asked me why I wanted to make an apron when I never wear one. I always remembered my grandma wearing one and my mom would wear one when she still had on her work clothes when she cooked dinner. The aprons they wore were handmade and I figured I could make my own too. So here it is. Now of course I have to wear it when I cook. Jacob and I nicknamed it my lucky apron because the first time I wore it, I cooked a fabulous meal according to Jacob.
The other day I made enchiladas (and I forgot to wear the apron) and Jacob didn't care for the dinner. He very kindly told me, "It's not that your cooking is bad. It's just that you weren't wearing your lucky apron." Thank you for your tact, Jake!

Grief

Grief is such a strange thing. Sometimes emotions can be all over the place. I'll find myself going along feeling good and then the oddest thing can bring my thoughts to Nathaniel. Sometimes thse thoughts are of gratitude and thankfulness to be blessed by Nathaniel and other times it's questions of "why" and "what if." Maybe part of it is the time of year. I was carrying Nathaniel at this time last year. I would have been about eight weeks pregnant, blissfully unaware that the baby growing inside me wouldn't survive. That even if every other part of his body was healthy, his frame would not allow him to live. I struggle with this thought often. He wasn't sick. His heart wasn't failing. He would have had thoughts and a personality and we didn't get to see it. When he was born he never opened his eyes. He never cried. He never moved his body. I know if he had opened his eyes or cried it would have been more painful to see him go, but I feel cheated that we didn't have that. He was so active inside of me. His kicks and movements were gentle because of the size of his arms and legs, but they were frequent. The morning before his birth he was very active. Every ultrasound showed him moving his arms and legs and wiggling around. He was happy. He was alive. What I wouldn't give to go back in time and have those moments again.

Yesterday Jacob asked me where Nathaniel is buried. This is the first time he's asked since right after Nathaniel's birth. I decided it was time to explain cremation to him. I reminded him that when a person dies, their soul goes to heaven and their body stays here on earth. I explained that some people are buried in the ground and that others are cremated. I told him that cremation is a process that changes the body to small particles or dust and that we can keep it close to us in a small box or urn. I told him that Nathaniel was cremated and showed him his box. Jacob took the box with both hands and held it close to his body. He ran his fingers over Nathaniel's name and birth date. (I'll cherish that moment.) I told him that I was sorry I didn't tell him sooner, but that I was afraid it would be confusing to him. He said it wasn't confusing at all. He gently put Nathaniel's box back on the dresser and gave me a hug. I'm so thankful he understands and I didn't scare him with my explanation. I really worried about that.

Jacob's thankful for...

Jacob told me that today at school they had to say what they were thankful for. He told me he said his DS (Nintendo DS) and his family. Then he told me, "Actually I just said the DS, not my family."
I said, "Really? You're not thankful for your family? What if you came home from school tomorrow and we weren't here? No mommy, no daddy and no Kyle. Just your DS.

His reply, "Well then I'd have something to do."

My New Born Baby by Jake

Jacob wrote a story at school last month that he titled My New Born Baby. I was really curious what he wrote. I wondered what his perspective was on the whole experience and hoped it would give me some insight as to how he was "coping" with the loss of his baby brother. I was a little surprised when I read the story.

My New Born Baby
by Jake 9-30-2008
I was playing Star Wars with my friend Cameron. After we were done with playing Star Wars we played in the woods. I found a secret hideout but it had too many branches. We can break the branches but the wood was too thick so we went to the secret hideout.
The end.

You see, I dropped Jacob and Kyle off at Cameron's house in the morning when I went to the hospital. I didn't know at the time if Nathaniel would be born that day and that's what I told the kids. They had a great day of playing with their friends without a care at all about what was going on at the hospital. Later that evening, Cari brought them up to the hospital to meet their brother. They remember seeing Nathaniel and holding and kissing him and I know that Jacob will always hold that memory. Even though his story isn't what I thought it would be or about his baby brother at all, it's his perspective. The perspective of a six year old. And his illustration on the cover is priceless to me. This is the first and only time he's drawn our family with all five of us.

Jacob is 7... almost

Jacob celebrated his birthday with friends a little early this year because we'll be out of town on his actual birthday. It was a fun afternoon of bowling with his friends. All the kids were VERY well behaved. What a difference a year makes!

Who bit who?

Since sweet 18 month old Kyle has a very limited speaking vocabulary, I have to guess at most of the things he's trying to tell me. Usually I can figure it out by process of elimination or pointing at various objects until I get it right. Tonight however I wrongly accused Jacob of biting Kyle on the butt after Kyle came to me with a sad face, pointed at his butt and then pointed at his mouth. I asked him if Jacob bit him and of course he didn't say no. So I scolded Jacob, who then told me it was actually Kyle who bit him in the butt. Oops. So much for guessing Kyle's charades correctly.

Slight miscommunication

I haven't had a chance to enter any new blogs because the couple of stories I want to tell need pictures to add to the humor. Why can't I post pictures? Well I've managed to completely mess up Mel's computer again requiring me to reinstall Windows and I'm not ready for that challenge just yet and our back up computer works ok but the pictures won't load from my camera to the computer. Another issue I don't want to try to figure out just yet (or mess up more.)
So instead I'll write about a conversation I had in the car yesterday with Jacob. I'd been battling a migraine all morning and it was starting to subside but I was feeling a little "brain dead." Out of the blue Jacob asks me "what does a door mean?"
I said "what do you mean what does a door mean?"
He said "No. What does a door mean!?"
A little irritated I said "a door is a door. What are you asking me?"
Jacob is now irritated and says "No mom. A door! What does it mean?"
After a few moments of thought I said "Oh, adore. That means..."

Talk about brain dead!